If you have kids in school, at any grade or age, you are experiencing the hectic month of May with the rest of us. We are running, literally, from track meets to concerts to awards banquets almost nightly during this entire month. Add to that schedule the 'end-of-the-year' school projects some teachers assign to drive the parents just a bit crazy - I kid you not - my 5th grade daughter had to create a 'book of my life' in photos a couple of days ago. This means that mom or dad must first find the family photos in the back of the closet, then scan them into the computer because we did not have digital cameras back in those earlier years, then help our daughter print them off. What was learned here? This is just simply that end of the year 'busy work' they assign to fill those last long days of school. Drives me nuts.
Well, the other night I was again running from soccer practice to cello lessons and trying to catch my nephew's kindergarten vocal concert (he had a solo and I really wanted to be there for him.) So, having just run the other errands and having just consumed a quick Diet Pepsi to keep me going for a few more hours, I burst into the women's restrooms outside the auditorium in a panic to hurry and go before I lost it. (I don't know who designed these women's stalls, but I'd like to get my hands on whomever did. I am a 5' 2" woman of very average weight and it is nearly impossible to actually fit into the stalls. Not only are they built about 10 inches too narrow, they are also very short in depth, so much so that you have to step back around the toilet to open or shut the doors. Now, imagine a very narrow stall that gets narrower as you sit down. There is a 12x12x5 inch feminine products waste box on your left touching your left elbow, and a huge multi-roll toilet paper dispenser at the same height touching your right elbow. I'm not kidding, it is that small.) So, in my haste to relieve myself and to make it into the concert on time, I whipped down my pants and sat down as quickly as possible - and caught my left butt cheek with a direct hit on the sharp corner of the feminine products stainless steel waste basket. My first primitive reaction was to yell very loudly, "F***!" and then I cried and sat for a while until that initial deep pain subsided, then I got my sorry a** out of the stall and as I made my way slowly to the sinks, I caught a glimpse of a little girl's right eye peering at me between the stall doors of the stall a few down, probably wondering who that mean, swearing lady was in the bathroom with her and probably very scared and wanting her mommy! I gingerly walked into the concert thinking I was just in time. Well, instead of the usual 7:30 start that all the other hundred concerts this month had, it started 30 minutes earlier and I totally missed my nephew's little solo. It took about a week before I could sit fully on my bum, the bruise deep and the scratch sore. So girls, when in a hurry learn from me - always use the huge stall at the end, if you do catch your bum on the feminine products box, you'll at least have a large steel bar to help get you back up or a very large floor space to pass out on!
I finally have my very own bike! The first new bike I've had since middle school! No more adjusting the kids' seats whenever I want to go ride! This baby was paid for with those scrumptious cheesecakes - keep the orders coming in, I need to cover family vacation next!
